Tom White, Abuse, VOM, and the Power of the Internet

Last Thursday afternoon I received a call while in my office at Emmanuel Enid. One of our secretaries buzzed in and said, "I have a man on the phone who claims to be the father of the young girl abused by Tom White and he wishes to speak to you." My heart skipped a beat. Earlier in the week I had felt impressed to write an open letter on the Internet to the unnamed and unknown girl allegedly abused by Tom White, the Executive Director of Voice of the Marytyrs. The police and press had both reported that Tom White had committed suicide while under investigation for possible abuse of this young girl. When I first heard of Tom's suicide, my immediate thoughts went to his victim. I was not sure if she would ever read the open letter, but I asked the Lord, if possible, to use the letter to bring healing to the girl and her family. For her to understand how important she was to me (and others), I wrote these words: "The first person I thought about when I read the story of your abuser’s death was you. I do not view his death as something more tragic than his abuse of you. Let me say that again in a different way. The abuse perpetrated on you is far more tragic than your abuser’s death. I did not think of his ministry, his reputation, or even his family when I first heard of his death. I thought about you.  Your abuser’s sin and shame and his lack of personal responsibility and courage are the direct causes of his death. Your abuser took his own life and you had nothing to do with it."

Her father was now on the phone. I answered trepidatiously, not knowing what to expect. During the subsequent forty-five minutes I had one of the most moving phone conversations of my life. I cannot go into all the details of the conversation, particularly in regard to the abuse and the circumstances surrounding Tom White's death. These matters will remain confidential out of respect for the victim and her family, as well as the family of Tom White. What I can say is that there is no doubt the abuse occurred. In addition, there is no doubt the open letter helped this young girl's family. Her father told me that he was at work and had Googled "Tom White" and on the third page he found my post "The Sin and Suicide of 'Voice of the Martyrs' Executive Director Tom White: An Open Letter to the Young Girl He Abused." He thought to himself, "What in the world is this about?" He read it at his desk and began to weep. He said that he received a great deal of comfort and healing from the open letter and immediately printed off a copy of it to take home to read to his wife. He said they both cried as he read the letter again to his wife at their house. "The Holy Spirit brought such incredible comfort and healing to us both." The parents of the young girl have saved the letter and will  at the appropriate time read it to their daughter.

The parents' response to the discovery of their daughter's abuse is a textbook case on how parents should handle such a tragic situation. The young girl is doing remarkably well, and credit goes to her father and mother for the forthright, loving and supportive manner in which they responded to their daughter's abuse and her abuser. I have requested that the couple write a guest post of their experiences as a means of comforting other families who have gone through similar difficult situations. They are considering it. Regardless, I know that hundreds of people will be helped in the future by this remarkable family. Their story is gripping. My prayers continue for this family.

Finally, the power of the Internet has been reinforced to me through this experience.  We who write for the cause of Christ always do well when we write words that either bring healing to the wounded or refreshment to the weary; nothing lukewarm for us.  Thanks to my new friend who called last week, I have been encouraged once again that the Lord can use words written and published on the Internet for His glory and the good of His people.

What Does the Lord Require of Thee? - A Review

One of the great privileges of blogging is becoming acquainted with men and women from across the world that I would not normally know were it not for the Internet. One such person is Judy Scott Brandon, Ed.D. Judy is a wife, mother, former public school teacher and university professor. She is a Southern Baptist who over two decades ago chose to set aside her professional career for a season in order to stay at home and raise her children. An opportunity arose to write a weekly column in her local newspaper, The Clovis News Journal, and for the last 25 years she has been a columnist read by thousands of people in her home state of New Mexico. Judy's book, What Does the Lord Require of Thee? is based on those newspaper articles. The first portion of the book consists of stories and essays of what it means for Christians to live and work for justice. In the section entitled "To Love Mercy," the reader is introduced to Strange Guy, and the inner joy that comes from showing mercy to friends and complete strangers. The third and final section entitled "Walk Humbly with Your God" is filled with colorful anecdotes that illustrate the importance of humility in the believer's life. Judy's writing is precise and fresh. She possesses the unique ability of writing with self-deprecating panache and humor. The book is composed of stylistic easy-to-read essays that grip the attention and sustain the memory. All believers, both males and females, young and old, will benefit from Judy's wisdom and wit.

To My Daughter Charis on Her 25th Birthday! Love, Dad

Charis, it was a quarter of a century ago today, on Sunday, April 12, 1987 in Shawnee, Oklahoma, that you entered this world. Your name means "Grace" and your mother and I felt from the very beginning that we were immeasurably graced by God to be your parents, but in time we felt even more favored to be your friends. We have written you a private birthday note which you should receive in the mail, but I felt impressed to write this public post to express my deep love and respect for you as a person and to encourage you with a specific word about your personhood. There are so many things I admire in your character including your faith, your perseverance, your kindness, your selflessness, your loyalty, your generosity, your wisdom, and countless other excellent qualities. There are so many additional attributes you possess, including your bulldog determination (a chip off the old block!), that cause us incredible joy! I could write a veritable book summarizing what your mother and I think and believe about you. We know you are not perfect, nor are we, but it is His grace and mercy in our lives that have taught our family to be quite comfortable in the skin, personality, and temperament He has given each of us. Your fiance Travis is a truly blessed man. He, like I, has been given by God a remarkably strong and gifted woman. Soon, you and he will marry, and your surname will change. As you know, Shakespeare once wrote, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."  That is so true of you! Though your name may change, you will not. You will always be the special person of charis that God has made you to be.

I have tried during your life to help you capture the truth that who you are as a person has never been defined by your pastor-father, nor will it ever be tied to the identity of any man. Contrary to what some of our Christian friends believe (and teach), you have no need of any alleged 'covering' provided for you by a male. You didn't need any covering from me, nor will you need one from your future husband. The only covering you need you have; and it is given you freely by your Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the only Person from whom you can find real and eternal personal identity. Your mother and I have sought to model for you what a biblical, godly marriage is all about. Your mother is my equal. She is my friend. She stands alone in her personhood. You've been taught that you are the equal of any man, and we believe you know that to be true! We are excited that you have the privilege of marrying your best friend, and we do not believe there is a better man you could have chosen to marry in the entire world! We are confident Travis will remain your best friend throughout your life. But you have a Friend who is even closer to you than your future husband, your father, or your grandfathers. No male in your life was ever designed by God to be the source of your life, or the basis of your happiness, or the stability of your future. Christ is all that to you and more. He is your Source. He is your Sufficiency. He is your Stability. For this reason, no matter what you hear in the future from well-meaning pastors, I would encourage you to remember what your mom and dad have taught you over the years. You are the equal of any man in worth, value, signficance, purpose and abilities. You can both lead and follow, serve and be served, encourage and be encouraged in every area of life, including the emotional and spiritual level.

When we get to heaven you will be given "a new name" (Revelation 2:17), you will not be married (Luke 20:34), and you will no longer give birth to any children (Luke 20:34). Of course, those you love who are "in Christ" and those who love you who have also come to faith in Christ will be your BFF's, and we are delighted to be included in that group! But your identity for eternity, your significance forever, and your personhood in glory will be defined by Christ--no man. It is for the women in my family, particularly you, that I have sought to remind Christian women what the Bible says about God, women, and female personhood. Contrary to what many others would want Christian women to believe, the Bible reveals God has chosen to liken Himself to a female, and we are the fruit of His womb. In short, you have as much of the image of God in you as any male. You were created in HIS IMAGE, and your identity is in Him.  This birthday greeting is public because many of my friends are at a conference this week called Together for the Gospel. They read my blog, and some of them don't yet understand the importance of this issue in the Kingdom of God. I want them to know that when I write on the subject of women, I am primarily concerned with being biblical, but my motivation is practical, not philosopical or theological.

I write for you. I want you to know I see the Image of God in you. I rejoice that the Life of my God is in the soul of my daughter. You, Charis, are a beautiful human being, and it is because God's love for you and Christ's life in you. Happy Birthday! I look forward to being your friend for all of eternity.

In Our God's Grace and Love,

Dad

The Finest Defense of Childhood Evangelism In Print

Every Christian ought to have in his library, and read at least once a year, The Kingdom: The Emerging Rule of Christ Among Men, written and published in 1899 by George Dana Boardman. It is the definitive classic on the biblical phrases "the kingdom of God" and "the kingdom of heaven," terms used by Christ and the apostles repeatedly in their ministries. Boardman's father, George Dana Boardman "The Senior," was an associate of Adoniram Judson in Burma. When Senior died, Boardman's mother married the widowed Adoniram Judson, thus George Dana Boardman grew up with the famous missionary as his step-father. Boardman would return to America and graduate from Brown University and go on to pastor First Baptist Church, Philadelphia from 1864 to 1894. On page 62 of The Kingdom, after referencing Jesus' statement "suffer the little ones to come to me, for of such is the Kingdom of God, Boardman explains how the consituents of the Kingdom of God (believers) possess the child-like traits of self-unconsciousness, trustfulness, guilelessness, conscientiousness, teachableness, obedience, and love. Boardman writes that Jesus taught "before any one can enter into His Kingdom, he must come down, or rather go up, into the child-state." Boardman then gives one of the finest philosophical and biblical justifications for childhood evangelism I've ever read. Boardmen writes:

"Since childlikeness is one of the essential terms of the Kingdom of God, it follows that child-like piety is profoundly philosophical. I do not say that the child as such is sinless, or that he has been born anew: much less do I say that a child is specially devout. But I do say that the spirit of childhood is the natural emblem and the representative of the Christian spirit. And just because this is true, little children are of all persons the most likely to become Christians. It is the very characteristics of the child-state--this self-unconsciousness, trustfulness, guilelessness, conscientiousness, teachableness, obedience, faith, hope, love--which give to the little child a peculiar aptitude for the Kingdom of God. He does not have to unlearn long years of self-complacency, distrustfulness, craftiness, stubbornness, waywardness, selfishness before he can enter the child-state; he is in the child-state already and the child-state is prerequisite for the heavenly. To expect, then, the early conversion of children is, I repeat, profoundly philosophical: for it is in the entire harmony with the very genius of Christianity. And the younger the child, the likelier the conversion. The real wonder is not that infants are converted. The real wonder is that adults are. Our King nowhere said to little children, "Except ye be converted, and become as adults, ye cannot be saved." But our King has said to adults, "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye can in no wise enter the Kingdom of God." Jesus rejoiced in the Holy Spirit, and said:

"I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that though didn't hide these things from wise and discerning men, and reveal them to babes; yea, Father, that so it was well pleasing in thy sight" (Luke 10:21).

The theological seminary is good: a Christian mother's knee is still better."