Tuesday, August 21, 2007

A Good Illustration of Passive Aggressive People

I have said more than once that I have met my share of passive aggressive people in the last couple of years. Passive aggressive people are those who talk sweet ('brother' this and 'brother' that), use spiritual lingo ('praise the Lord,' 'hallelujah', etc . . .), but all the while are looking to run over anyone in their way. I don't mind aggressive people when they flat out tell you their intentions. But the passive aggressive person is devious, dangerous and often destructive to himself and others.

Recently someone sent me the following illustration that verbally and visually paints the passive aggressive person in great - and humorous - detail.

To My Darling Husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kindhearted personality you will forgive me.

You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.


irreverend fox said...


that is great!!!

the truth is that the picture is not likely related to the little letter...lol...but I sure would LOVE to know the reality behind the picture!

thanks Wade!

wadeburleson.org said...

Thanks Fox,

I am waiting for what I know to be a demonstration of my post in this comment section.


Bob Cleveland said...

I always did admire a gal that'd drive a pick-em-up truck with a good set of dual exhausts.

Rex Ray said...

I was trying to think of how this would relate to Scripture, when it hit me. Yea, I know…a one track mind.

The “PS” is the same thing that “But” (Acts 15: 20) did to Peter’s statement that all are saved by the gift of Christ.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the letter should simply read, "Honey, I figured out a way to change the oil in the truck without having to lay down on the ground."

Trip Rodgers
Rocky Mount,NC

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious!! Thanks for giving me such a good laugh this morning.

By the way, I really like the way you describe passive-aggressive people. "those who talk sweet ('brother' this and 'brother' that), use spiritual lingo ('praise the Lord,' 'hallelujah', etc . . .), but all the while are looking to run over anyone in their way. So very true! You nailed it exactly. These kind of people are the reason I rarely read comments (or comment myself) any more. I just can't handle it. I come away feeling slimy and in need of a shower. God bless you for being able to deal with them so graciously!

Blackhaw said...

"I don't mind aggressive people when they flat out tell you their intentions. But the passive aggressive person is devious, dangerous and often destructive to himself and others."

HMMMM! This post reminds me that nothing you post is done without a reason. A friend of mine has said to me that "At least Ben Cole is being open about his political intentions. Patterson is not but doing the same thing." Okay. It seems all too obvious that this is what this post is really about.

I admit that both use poltics and behind the scene tactics to get what they want accomplished. And I understand why you do not like the one who calls you "brother" but then strikes you while your back is turned. But why is the obviously agressive person okay? Why does he get a free ride? Is it just because he is not crafty enough to be more devious and underhanded? I don't understand. You say "I don't mind aggressive people when they flat out tell you their intentions." Why? I can see not liking either but not giving a free pass to the one who says he will strike you to your face instead of waiting into your back is turned.

So I do not see why if you think Ben Cole and Patterson are both doing the same kind of things but Ben Cole is being open about it that you give a free pass to Ben Cole? And this is what this post is about. The difference between BC and big Poppa P and how BC is at least not going to hit you when your back is turned. Myself, I do not want to be hit at all by anyone.


wadeburleson.org said...


When Jesus took the whip to cleanse the temple he didn't hide it under his robe.

Unknown said...

Wow! Bro. Wade, you must be the king of passive-aggressive techniques, 'cause I didn't even read Ben Cole's or Dr. Patterson's names in the post anywhere. I'll have to pray for more discerning savvy.

mark sims
FBC Perrin
"the greatest church in Texas!"

John Moeller said...

I can't say much for Ferrari nor Ford trucks; but dang, that Igloo cooler sure held up! I hafta get one of those....

Blackhaw said...


okay. But isn't that comparing apples to oranges? Jesus was righteouss in what he was doing AND He did it in a right way. Ben Cole might be righteouss in what he is doing BUT DEFINTELY he is doing it in a wrong way. That is the whole point. It seems that in your post both BC and Patterson are doing things the wrong way but one is open about doing it the wrong way and others are not. So it is not about a righeteouss person doing things righteously. It is about someone who is obviuosly doing things in a negative way. And to use your analogy Jesus used a whip. pretty direct and out in the open. BC uses manipulation and behind the scenes political manuevering. Those methods are quite different eh?


OH and a "blogging friend" of both of ours just told me to write that "Ben ain't Jesus!"

wadeburleson.org said...


It seems you are the only one fixated on Ben. This post is not even about him.

Anonymous said...

I think some need to lightin' up and see the humor in this rather than use it to drive home a point. I think it's comic relief to any of us who have ever been in ministry in any way, shape, or form. We've all had moments when we've been broad-sided by passive aggressive people coming on like a locomotive from out of nowhere. There's nothing like opening up your e-mail and finding a message there from a church member that somehow you always thought was your friend, only to find out that this was an illusion. Then you sit back, draw in a breath, and think, "Where did that come from?"

Blackhaw said...


It sure seems to be about BC and Patterson. And since you did not say anything about me being fixated on Ben" after my 1st post I of course thought (and still think) I was right on target. Why is it not about BC now but it was about him before? Hmmm. And before you answer that it was never about Ben, if it was not then your first response to me makes very little sense.


wadeburleson.org said...


You have commented fifteen times in the last three posts, mostly about Ben. You and Peter Lumpkins seem to me to be quickly and easily agitated when others are not. I agree with Monte above. Just enjoy the post and quit reading things into it that are not there

Kevin Bussey said...


I needed a laugh!

Blackhaw said...

Whatever Wade. AS past history has shown even the most innocent looking posts on here have a purpose. And it was clear what the purpose of this post was. But I will drop it because it is probably not worth it.

Kevin Bussey said...


Have you seen any black helicopters?

There is not a purpose in everything--it was just a funny story and pic. Again, I needed a good laugh.

Anonymous said...

Dear Blackhaw,

Thanks so much. I'm glad you're done.


Anonymous said...

Peter - Having just read through several comments you have made, then going to your home site, I must say that you strike me as a man filled with more than your share of anger. Lighten up.

Anonymous said...

What happened to Peter's comment? Sorry, everyone, but Peter must have deleted his comment. Oh well.

Wayne Smith said...


Wes has a post that links to some Passive Aggressive People on his Blog. I was trying to figure all of them out and I’m confused as to what their problem is as they are either Irenic, erratic, ironic, irony, or incongruity.

In His Name
Wayne Smith

Scott Gordon said...


Of your earlier comment...

"this is not even about Ben."

True. You originally stated that it was about Peter and then you tell him to lighten up about it. Is that what you did with Wes? Or were you easily agitated by his post concerning your consistent inconsistencies?

Rick Boyne said...

I enjoy a good visual aide. Thanks Wade.

wadeburleson.org said...


Would you mind being more specific? I'm not sure what you mean by your comment, but feel free to elaborate in full and specific detail and I'll be happy to answer any and every question you may have.

Anonymous said...

Son! Shock! and Jimenee Crickect! How'd de do dat? Least mine wife hits de bumper straight on!

CB Scott said...


This can't be about Ben. He has no wife and drives a Lincoln. He has girl friend(s).

This can't be about Dr. Patterson. He has no girlfriend and drives a Cadillac. He has a wife.

You have made a mistake.

Pamela said...

I received an email from a girlfriend of mine. It was not this exact picture but they were supposed to be true examples of revenge that wives/girlfriends waged against their husbands/boyfriends when they caught them unfaithful. Some were pretty passive aggressive like this post. Others were a little more brutal. Just about all of them involved the man's favorite vehicle. All of them were hilarious.

God had a reason to call adultery a sin. It is one of the worst betrayals known to man. If one dares to commit it against their husband or wife the consequences can be brutal. In many cases it has been fatal for the offender or the party they are commiting adultery with.

Anonymous said...


In reference to your comment to Scott:

Perhaps you should visit Peters blog to jog your memory. Since you've removed the comment from the previous stream.

I "guess" your forgot.

Bob Cleveland said...

The picture is hilarious, but pales in comaparison to the hilarity of this comment string.

And, FWIW, the accident was a result of a teen in the pickup reaching for a cellphone and leaving the road, catapulting the truck through the air, and onto the Ferrari (and a nearby PT Cruiser). Damages $200K.

Chuck Bryce said...

Headline: "Ford Beats Ferrari 1-0, Ferrari Struggling Under Debris of Losing Season"

Chuck Bryce said...

Headline Revision: "Ford Cruises To Victory Over Team Chrysler, Beats Ferrari 1-0 in Second Game, Ferrari Struggling Under Debris of Losing Season"

Lin said...

"But why is the obviously agressive person okay? Why does he get a free ride? Is it just because he is not crafty enough to be more devious and underhanded? I don't understand. You say "I don't mind aggressive people when they flat out tell you their intentions." Why?"

Good questions! As a former corporate trainer for many years I can easily give you the answer because this problem came up everyday! Because people know what to expect from the merely agressive who let their intentions be known...and it is honest.

People are blindsided by the passive agressive and never know what to expect of them.

Passive Agressives may only be known to those close around them...they are very good at presenting a very nice, solid public face.

Passive Agressiveness is deceitfulness which is lying. They are passive agressive simply because they are NOT honest. It is how they can get by with being deceptive.

Passive agressives are becoming more and more prevalent as the world focuses more and more on outward appearances. "Oh, she is so nice and sweet...she must be a real Christian."

It seems we demand every word said to us these days served up with what we think is whipped creme and chocolate sauce. Problem is that none of us could agree on what is 'loving' in how we say things. Jonathan Edwards would last 10 minutes in the pulpit these days.

Someone is always going to be offended no matter how 'loving' one tries to say something.

As I used to tell my clients: If you are a jerk...be a consistent jerk. (jerk as in bold and tell-it like-it is type)

If you are nice...be consistently nice. Anything else is too confusing but above all, be straightforward and honest in all things. There is no other way to create trust.

Lin said...

Sorry about all the typos...I am typing with my finger in a splint...I kept missing the extra 'g'.

Wayne Smith said...

You have discribed the people who came attaching starting sometime in June 2006. Most of them are commenting in Wes Kenny Blog. I see they are starting a new Venue that is going to be the the Dictator type Blog that doesn’t allow Comments (Jeremy L. Green or continuely removes comment like Wes Kenney Does. VAIN VAIN VAIN
1. excessively proud: excessively proud, especially of your appearance
2. unsuccessful: failing to have or unlikely to have the intended or desired result
a vain attempt at persuading them
3. empty of substance: devoid of substance or meaning

In His Name
Wayne Smith

Frank (or Chip) said...

You know, Wade, here at the middle of the earth, it has been kind of a rough day. Well, despite the fact that there is a deeper meaning to this, I have just pulled myself off the floor where I have been laughing for the past few minutes. Thanks!