In honor of today's SBC seminary reports at the Southern Baptist Convention in Baltimore, I thought I'd give 10 reasons why practicing Muslims ought to consider enrolling at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
1). You will be given your own private room so nobody will be offended by your prayer life or you theirs.
2). You will be allowed to smoke tobacco, just as long as you don't do it in front of administration and as long as you will allow administration to pretend you always abide by 'the moral code' (for the record, many of us believe the administration's moral code against 'smoking' is puerile).
3). You will be given an on campus job at the seminary, working among other evangelical pastors in need of work as well. The seminary does a good job providing for their own.
4). You will not have to listen to long introductions or stories from missionaries about their work in foreign lands as you sit among them at Prayer Breakfasts. They will, of course, be kind and personal with you (as they always are), just not reciprocal in sharing their own stories.
5). You can obtain the most inexpensive accredited Ph.D. in theology with an emphasis in 'archaeology' on the continent of North America, funded by Southern Baptists.
6). You won't have to attend all the required seminary chapels or be expected to share your faith during the week.
7). You will join other 'cousins' attending SWBTS who believe something other than what administration deems the truth.
8). You will never have to worry about being picked to speak at the Southern Baptist Convention on the advantages of obtaining a SBC seminary degree.
9). You will leave SWBTS with a working, intimate knowledge of SBC mission work around the world.
10). You can put on your 'resume' - Ph.D. Southwestern Theological Baptist Seminary, Fort Worth, Texas, and be denied employment in every Sharia Law country and then request asylum in the US and help your fellow cousins as they build mosques on US soil.
Once you graduate, I hope you are a spokesperson for the freedom granted all faiths in a country built on the principles of liberty, equality, and human dignity. We Baptists have played a huge roll throughout our country's history in making the United States 'the land of the free.'