I am neither a prophet, nor the son of one, but I thought I might like to give a few New Year’s Day predictions. I looked back at what I wrote last year at this time and find the posts to be as relevant today as they were then. It will be interesting to look back a year from now and see how close I was to hitting the mark on the predictions.
After my predictions, I am sharing with you an email sent to me by a fellow Southern Baptist that I believe many of you will enjoy.
(1). Frank Page will be reelected President of the Southern Baptist Convention at the June, 2007 Southern Baptist Convention in San Antonio, Texas.
(2). Al Mohler will announce in late 2007 his candidacy for the SBC Presidential election in anticipation of the 2009 Southern Baptist Convention in Louisville, Kentucky.
(3). Steven Gaines will not step down as Pastor of Bellevue Baptist Church, Memphis, Tennessee and the church will eventually enter into a more settled peace.
(4). The Baptist Identity Conference at Union University slated for February 15-17, 2007 will provide more memorable, maybe even infamous, quotes from the speakers than any Southern Baptist Conference in the last thirty years.
(5). The new IMB policies on baptism and private prayer language will be modified.
(6). The Oklahoma Sooners will go undefeated in 2007 season and play in the BCS National Football Championship in 2008. (Update: The Fiesta Bowl is NOT the 2007 season. :) By the way, my next post may be "Lessons on Predestination: Boise State vs. Oklahoma! )
(7). The nation of Israel will launch a preemptive surgical strike against Iran’s nuclear reactor in March or April of 2007 in conjunction with a battle in northern Israel and southern Lebanon against Hezbollah.
(8). The International Mission Board will set a record in both Lottie Moon gifts and Cooperative Funding in 2007.
(9). There will be a more first time appointees to serve as Southern Baptist trustees and members of standing committees and convention committees than in the past three years combined.
(10). There will be more Southern Baptist blogs on December 31, 2007 than January 1, 2007.
The following was sent to me by a fellow Southern Baptist. It was written, according to the author, in the style of the late Johnny Carson’s ‘Carnac the Magnificent.’ Many of us remember how the late night talk show host would dress up like a gypsy mind reader, hold an envelope to his forward, then speak a word or a phrase that was an answer to an unknown question. He would then open the envelope and read the question (to the laughter of many).
The answers and questions below, in the style of ‘Carnac the Magnificent’ would do well on late night ‘Family Net’ Southern Baptist television. Not everyone will catch the inside humor of every question, but for people like me, several of them were good for a laugh this New Year’s Day.
Answer: The Southern ivory bill woodpecker, the Southern belle, and the Southern Baptist missionary with a private prayer language.
Question: Name three things on the endangered species list.
Answer: Déjà Vu
Question: The 2006 SBC Presidential election. The 2007 SBC Presidential election.
Answer: The Great Pyramid
Question: What will the stack of resolutions submitted to the 2007 SBC be called?
Answer: Grape Nuts
Question: Who are those who say Jesus turned the water into grape juice?
Answer: All In The Family
Question: What is the Missouri Baptist Nominating Committee report called?
Answer: The Silence of the Lambs
Question: What is SWBTS trustee dissent?
Answer: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and cooperation
Question: Name two words Southern Baptists know with no actual meaning.
Answer: The Loch Ness Monster
Question: Who will they find sooner than a liberal Southern Baptist?
Answer: Beet Red
Question: The color of some faces in Texas and Virginia upon hearing President Page’s appointments.
Answer: “They are written by fools and read by imbeciles”
Question: How do extra-biblical requirements for ‘holiness’ become Baptist traditions?
Happy New Year to All!