The Essay Contest entitled "If I Were President of the SBC, I Would . . . " received a number of excellent entries, and more than a few humorous ones.
As promised, there are two winners as determined by a panel of three judges --- one for the wisest essay as deemed by the panel, and one for the most humorous.
The judges wish to remain anonymous, so don't bother asking, and don't complain to me! :)
Really, thanks to all who took the time to enter. If the two winners will send me their mailing addresses I will send the prize to you later this week.
The Wisest Advice Essay Winner (by Dave Samples)
If I were president of the SBC, I would...
#1--Seek to reconcile and rebuild relationships with both the BGCT and the BGAV. How can God truly bless us if we are at odds with our brothers and sisters? (Matthew 5:23-24).
#2--Hold "live satellite" conventions in every state convention allowing a truly representative convention. Wouldn't it be cool if every SBC church was actually represented and voting at the SBC?
#3--Reorganize each of our boards in order to streamline effectiveness and to minimize expense.
#4--Initiate a national ad campaign to proclaim the gospel and the positives of SBC churches. Answer the question: "What are we for?"
(Judges comments: Brief, pointed, concrete plans that actually could be implemented within a short span of time).
The Most Humorous Essay Winner (by Brett)
If I were elected President of the SBC, I would...
a. Show up at the press conference with those fake buck teeth in.
b. Call Class of '88 "Mr. Most Likely to Succeed" and ask what's goin' on in his life these days.
c. Inform the newly elected 2nd Vice President that his job at the convention, during all business sessions, is to make sure that all the restrooms are fully supplied, thereby ensuring that the most widely asked question of the San Antonio Convention would not be "Who was the genius that suggested we should be in San Antonio in June?" but would be "Where's Wiley?"
d. Buy a ranch out West somewhere so I can chop wood and ride horses for the media.
e. Take Bobby's old bus and beg the producers of MTV's "Pimp My Ride" to transform it...with Al Mohler's mug on the side, right beside the text "Tonight on Larry King"
f. Donate the newly pimped SBC Bus to the Southern Baptist Historical Library and Archives for posterity.
g. Get a custom equipped Boeing 747-200B and call it SBC-1.
h. Urge Hayes Wicker to really draw the theologues to San Antonio with
"Mohler/Patterson II: the Cage Match"
i. Issue a statement titled "Patterson's Left Hook: the Truth about Mohler's Supposed Cornea Surgery Before Greensboro"
j. Use my childrens' toy mallet as a gavel when people start acting childish.
k. Conclude my Introduction of whichever politician the Bush administration sends to San Antonio with these words: "And it is my great privelege to inform you that in an unprecedented display of gratitude for our Convention's unwavering loyalty to the Republican party, our next speaker just pledged to give 10% of his/her gross income to the Cooperative Program!"
l. Grant clemency to Wade Burleson.
(Judges comments: Humor is often in the ear of the beholder, but after reading this outloud twice, we laughed harder the second time than the first.)
Congratulations to the two winners.
Tomorrow's post will list the names of the committee members for the International Mission Board with a special focus on the chairmen of the respective committees as appointed by Chairman of the Board Dr. John Floyd.
Have a happy 4th of July holiday!
In His Grace,